Tuesday, December 28, 2004


A South African term for hangover. From the Zulu word ibhabhalazi.

The Bar in De Aar

Two gentlemen walked into at a bar in the town of De Aar. “So tell me”, the tall one asked as they entered: “Where are you from?”

“From the Orange Free State, the smaller man replied.

“Same here! What a great place to live”, said the tall guy as they were sitting down. Imagine the chances of us meeting here in the middle of nowhere. Let’s toast to that!”

“Where were you born?” the small man wanted to know. “In Bloemfontein”, came the response.

“You must be kidding”, the inquirer remarked, sounding pleasantly surprised. “It's my birthplace as well. Let’s have a glass on the strange coincidence that brought us together here tonight!”

Thus the conversation proceeded and the two guys were having one drink after another to celebrate their remarkably similar experiences. A third man could not help but overhearing the conversation, and soon his curiosity became too much to bear. “What’s with those two?” he asked the barman.

“Oh, you can ignore them”, came the reply, “It’s just the Fouché twins getting drunk again.”

Jors Visser

On The House

It’s Friday night and the bar doors open with a bang. “A Whisky for me, a whisky for you, and a whisky for all my friends here”, shouts the guy who came barging in.

“Thank you”, says the barman“, and he starts pouring drinks for everyone, including himself. Not long afterwards, the jolly newcomer is at it again: “Another round on the house!”

“You are a very nice guy”, says the barman, “but before I do, would you mind paying for the first round?”

“Shorry, old chap”, said the man, “I do not have a cent on me.” Highly upset the barman grabs the perpetrator by the collar and summarily kicks him out on the street.

A few hours later the man is back, twice as drunk and loud as before: “Whishky fo' me, and whishky fo' all my friendsh”, he hollers.

“I imagine you are including me”, the barman replies in a sarcastic tone.

“Nope”, says the drunk, “You get mad when you drink!”

Elsa Mouton

The Train to Matjiesfontein

Two old gentlemen visiting Matjiesfontein received news that their train had been delayed. They decided to get out of the cold and headed for the only bar in town.

As they got ready to return to the station, the barman made a quick call and had bad news: “Sorry gents, but you your train is stuck in Laingsburg due to the heavy rains. The new estimated arrival time is two hours from now.”

By now, they both had a few drinks under the belt, and their mood had improved considerably. No, they did not mind waiting. In fact, they would celebrate their delay by having another brandy each.

Soon afterwards one said, “This is not a bad place at all. The only problem I can see is that it is too damn lonely”. Then he pointed straight to the large mirror on the wall. See those two guys over there? Why don’t we go and visit with them for a while?”

The other agreed, picked up his drink and started walking towards the mirror. Then he hesitated: “Wait… See, they are already coming to join us!”

Fanie Ferreira

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