Fish Teef

Most people were poor then, and every penny was squeezed hard before it was spent. I recall grandma complaining that her dentures were so used up that she had to chew them with her food. Still, she could not afford a new set.

Today was a beautiful morning off the coast of Blombos, close to Jongensfontein, and not far from the incident relating to the anchor. The fish were biting, and boats were coming in from Stilbaai and Puntjie. Pretty soon, the ocean was busy with activity. On a good day like this, even the inexperienced could make a little money off their catch. At the very least you’d save some on your food bill.

On one of the boats, a bunch of vacationers were out fishing with hand-lines and the action was brisk. One of the guys on the boat had a new set of dentures that had been bothering him, so he took them out and stuffed them in his shirt pocket. Later that morning, as he was leaning over to snare another catch, his teeth fell out and disappeared under the water.

This did not go unnoticed and soon a great deal of good-natured bantering ensued. At that moment, one of the would-be fishermen decided to play a trick on the unfortunate fellow. Gutting the next catch, he took his own set of teeth and swiped it through the fish’s intestines, and then presented the result to the toothless wonder: Lo and behold, the missing dentures - soiled, but intact!

As could be expected, this created quite a stir. After all, what would the chances be of such a coincidence? At the very least, the story was going to make the local paper.

Old rabbitmouth** could not believe his luck, and as he was loudly proclaiming his good fortune, he proceeded to wash the enamel substitute in seawater and promptly put it back in his mouth.

Just then he realized that the dentures would not fit. He turned green at the thought. Who knows, he could be mouthing some unknown skeletal remains from the bottom of the ocean!

Like in slow motion he removed the set, looked at it and said: “Hell no, this ain’t my teeth!” And with obvious disgust he threw it overboard.

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** Afrikaans: "Haasbek" - someone with only a few teeth.

Jan Tik
Source: Dawid Kruger Jr.

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